identity crisis II

identity crisis II

what i saw in the mirror
made reality crash down
on my head
i saw a body, a face
and the person was
unfamiliar to my sight
her eyes narrowed
as did mine
i leaned forward
she leaned forward
and it came to me

i don’t know who i am
i don’t recognize me

i had to wonder
had i lost my soul
or did i have one in
the beginning
was i the lady in orange
the woman in red
or have i drowned in
a sea of blues and greens
the end of the rainbow
is no longer enough

to my brother
i am Sex
a warm body when he
is in need
a punching bag a wife
a cook a mother of three
a temptress of his fate
but i am not me

my sister seems to
see me
as a threat to her goals
a pillow for tears
a money lender man stealer
and i think i’m cute
sad sad day
when i look into
the mirror and
recognize nothing i see

i don’t know who i am
i no longer see me

sure life has been
no crystal stair
but must i tiptoe
around someone else’s fears
caught up in battling
pre-set identities
chicken-head ho mommy
baby daughter welfare queen
money-making booty-shaking
evil mama Nubian dream
i belong to myself
and everyone has staked a claim
but how can i be me

if i don’t know my name

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