mirror, mirror – the video

dear mirror myself
you owe me
i paid my dues in blood
where’s my change?
you showed me things
that were not real to see
your lies wounded me
whipping against my skin
drawing thin welts of red
used me
abused me
confused me mentally
you kicked dust on my flames
the fires i lovingly set ablaze
built with my own heat
kindled with my own sweat
dear, dear mirror myself
this skin that i’m in
itches and burns
it sags in places
and when i squeeze
my fingers leave traces
of scars and prints
of bruises and discolored
blemishes
my vision is cloudy
so how can i truly see?
i’m telling you now
you owe me
i suffered at your hands
as you held me down
to be raped and robbed
and beaten and enslaved
and choked and punched and
told i’d misbehaved
you shredded my sanity
and pummeled my youth
one of these days you will
show me the truth
of my beauty my power
my fortune my fame
hell
thanks to you
i don’t even know my name
where i’m going where i’m from
where i’ve been what i’ve seen
what i want what i need
dammit
how could you mislead
someone who believed
in you whole-heartedly
and argued with passion
in your favor
while you stripped me
of all i had left
dear, sweet mirror myself
don’t turn away while i
address the wrongs
don’t cover your ears or sing
silly songs
no pleading no tears no
running away
stand tall and take it
it’s time for me to share this pain
that has festered and oozes
out from my pores
that has covered me and
gotten me mistreated as
an object of pity and scorn
look at me at my eyes
at my hair full of kinks
at my child bearing hips
at my thick lips
at my thighs
look at my tattoo
at the ring in my nose
at my discarded disguise
hear me now say
i’m sick and tired of your lies
it’s me and you and you and me and
quite frankly no one else
sweet
darling
mirror
myself