who knew – a poem

who knew
that with the space between my thighs
i would be the architect of my own demise
a world destroyer
a wrecking ball and chain
a master of melancholy denying nothing and
admitting to the same
ain’t that a shame?
i can strut around in heels and a dress and suddenly i’m a threat
to cultivated femininity and socially-pressured masculinity
just begging to be spit upon
assault dangled as a prize
they judge my hair my clothes the swing of my hips when i walk
but never
never do they look into my eyes
i am despised
worshipped as the unattainable ideal and ridiculed
for being alive
they want me dead
eradicated
my essence scrubbed from existence
but still i rise and survive
offering complicated resistance
am i a victim
or the perpetrator of this criminal activity
am i flaunting myself
or are they bullying me
harassing me as i move through this reality
refusing to cower or hide myself from those gazes of intense scrutiny
you don’t agree
attempt to police me
suggest i wear some clothes that flatter me
because everybody knows my choice of threads will save me or condemn me
damn me to be disrespected
to be mistreated like i’m worth less
then those who fight me and bring me stress
but i digress
i was born alone
i walk alone
and now i ask that you
leave me alone
don’t catcall me in the streets
i do not appreciate having your twisted thoughts
projected onto me
you look into the mirror and
despise what you to see
but that is no
business of mine
because what you see
ain’t me

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