Begrudge – poem (#17)

begrudge

i don’t hate you

how can i?

i’ve been your backbone for years
built you a shelter
from the snow white storm
helped you breathe
when you were short of air
birthed you into this life
labored for free
killing myself
emotionally
hair skin and smile
poisoned
by toxicity
it seeped from your lungs
every time you drew breath
to speak

i don’t
want
to hate you

how can i not?

when you kissed me so tenderly
gave me food for my mind
nourished my goals
became the caretaker of my soul
possessively dogged my steps
when i clawed out a space for myself
when you conjured new names
to hurl at my back
poked fun at magic
made love to my friends
really
who wouldn’t want that?

Sumayyah Talibah © 17 April 2017

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